The courtesies that actually matter, and the ones that do not

Giving and receiving things with two hands — money, a card, a cup, a document — is the single most noticed courtesy. Supporting your right forearm with your left hand achieves the same effect when one hand is occupied.

It costs nothing, applies in every transaction, and is the gesture most likely to earn a visitor a warmer response than they expected.

Shoes come off at the entrance to homes, temples, guesthouses, hanok stays, some traditional restaurants, and any room with a raised floor.

The transition point is usually obvious: a step up, a change of flooring, or a rack of other people's shoes. When in doubt, look at what everyone else has done.

Wear socks without holes. This advice sounds facetious and is not.

Wait for the oldest person at the table to begin. In a group of friends this is relaxed; with anyone older or in a formal setting it is noticed.

Do not stand chopsticks upright in rice — the association is with funeral rites.

If someone pours for you, hold your glass with both hands. Pouring your own drink when others are present is mildly odd; the convention is that people pour for each other.

Refusing alcohol entirely is completely acceptable and needs no elaborate excuse.

Bowing depth, honorific verb endings and business-card ritual are largely irrelevant to a tourist. Nobody expects a visitor to navigate the honorific system, and attempting it badly is not held against you.

Speaking a few words of Korean is received warmly even when the pronunciation is poor. The effort registers far more than the accuracy.

Being visibly lost and asking for help works. People will frequently walk you to where you are going rather than give directions, which is disconcerting the first time and is meant kindly.